Graham Stacey

This is a late greenbelt post!

On the programme this year at Greenbelt was Matt Redman. This was very surprising and at the same time unsurprising as GB positions itself in the ‘broad’ camp someone like Matt ticks the conservative evangelical and charismatic boxes. As it happens it tick many peoples boxes.

There were about 3500-4500 people at the mainstage for Matt’s worship gig. And as I was processing this phenomenon, [whilst not worshiping!], I wondered whether I was surrounded by fellow graduates? Those older teens and young adults who we with Soul Survivor in the early days of the early 1990’s and who frankly are now too old even for Momentum. But who also have diversified in there spirituality and prefer a place like Greenbelt than New Wine, the perhaps more natural grassing ground for SS graduates?

emerging church, evangelicalism, greenbelt

A huge part of my motivation and inspiration for research comes out of my own story and journey as a follower of Jesus. The first church I went to was a large town centre Baptist Church that was evangelical and charismatic. Since I came from a non-church background, the doctrine and practice that flowed from this church experience became normative. 20 months later I was at London Bible College, large, evangelical, slightly charismatic and quite baptist. Of course these are retrospective labels since I had no idea what an evangelical was before I was well into my time at LBC. Church experience at LBC was mixed but generally along the same theme. After LBC, I was at a mid-sized CofE Church in North London that was ‘generically evangelical’ [my label]. One year later I was an Assistant Pastor at a mid-sized Baptist church again that was conservatively evangelical and embarrassingly charismatic [they were embarrassed to realise they were charismatic]. And then in a very surprising [to me at least] move I became senior staff in a large CofE, conservative evangelical and recovering charismatic church. Finally in a very surprising to everyone else move I became an Ordinand at Ripon College Cuddesdon of liberal catholic fame.

These episodes in my journey lead me to reflect on my own diversification as an evangelical this is what I came up with.

Charismatic Evangelical [1992-1994] Describes where on the spectrum I was converted into.

Doctrinally Disillusioned Evangelical [1994-1996] Is how I felt when I realised you needed to go to bible college to discover who Jesus is and the resultant belief-melt-down that follows.

Post Post Evangelical [1997-1998] Is how I described myself at the public debate with Dave Tomlinson after seeing how scattered and in some places ‘obvious’ his arguments were.

‘Edge of the World’ Evangelical [199-2001] As opposed to Open Evangelical. That place where you are at the edge of the ‘flat’ world, since flat is how the doctrine felt, and wanting to take a step to get off or out, and yet finding nothing to step on to or in to.

New Kind of Evangelical [2001-2004] After reading book of similar title and seeing that it might just be degrees of perspective and there might yet be some life left in the old girl yet!

Cosmopolitan Evangelical [2005-] Since God’s call to Anglican Ordination; being neither Anglican or thinking about ordination up until that point. Cosmo because I know where I come from and don’t want to desert or abandon that past, despite trying to previously. But also wanting to be not just comfortable but actually at home in foreign places; to be able to encounter God, minister, lead, teach and live in a culture that is not my home. “To be ready to find God in the unexpected places.” To quote my selection application papers.

These diversifications have of course being supplemented with differing doctrine and practice, or least looking for such. It is with this background that I am engaging on the long process of exploring the stories of enrichment and division that emerge from other people’s diversified journeys.

PhD, emerging church, evangelicalism, formation

I realise there are several approaches, but when I do a jigsaw…
As I pour the pieces out of the box there may be some pieces that are still stuck together from the last time the puzzle was done, or even from manufacture. I may also spot certain attractive pieces that I recognise from the finished picture. I may even put these to one side. But the first real step is to sort out the edge pieces and do the edge. Once I have the edge done I can place those few pieces that are still stuck together and even those pieces that are easy to place because of their colour or texture.
I have this same technique when doing jigsaws with my kids. I tend to focus on getting the edge done which means that they then find it very easy to place the inside bits.
I find theology very similar.
There are lots of interesting bits, colourful and attractive - Jesus on the cross, heaven, feeding the 5000, love in 1 Corinthians… These bits in and of themselves obviously have depth and meaning and can be sources of inspiration and life change, but can become disconnected stories and theories without an edge. As with the jigsaw, the edge defines the relationship between the individual aspects of the picture and the stories those parts represent. It also provides a way into the picture as a whole. If the top of the edge is blue and the bottom is green these are clues as to the setting of the whole picture. The relationship between the blue and green tells us where the horizon is which in turn is a clue as to the content of the picture. It may even allow us to begin to tell what is in the foreground and what is in the background. The few exciting colourful pieces of the puzzle that together hold a picture of, say a hot-air balloon, are put in their place by the edge. The extent to which this hot-air balloon controls the whole picture is defined by the edge.
By now this metaphor and its insight into theology may be apparent. We can so often get caught by the beauty of a few pieces of the puzzle that we forget to do the edge and thus allow those pieces to be put in their place. In so doing we can become so blinded to the whole picture that the story of the few pieces become slightly distorted and disconnected.
I remember the time clearly when I realised this and stopped trying to think about the exciting pieces I had in my hand and started to focus on finding the edge pieces and putting the frame together.
What then are the edge pieces?
My starter for ten is Trinity.

emerging church, theology

These episodes of flipside leadership won’t be in any kind of order. Partly because if I waited until I thought there were in an order I was happy with they might never get written.

Given that, let’s start with activism!

It strikes me that one of the primary defining aspects of a gift of leadership is something about direction. Leadership makes sense in the context of a journey, whether that is physical, spiritual, emotional or, what is normally the case, a complex mix of these and others descriptors. Perhaps the best phrase might be ‘human journey’. The thing that the leader brings to this journey, the thing that they are best positioned to bring, is a vision of the future. The leader, if you like points to Point C of the journey. Point A being where you have come from and Point B being where you currently are. Since this is one of the moments when the leader is at their peak, a moment of looking forward, reaching ahead, urging movement and stirring active imagination, then they tend to embody these journey attributes of movement.

This embodiment of these attributes of journey is at an identity level [deliberately not using the words psychological or character]. The gift is planted deeply, probably at the core of personhood. Something that is not of course limited to the gift of leadership, a gift is part of the ‘knitting together of the person’ by God. This knitting together between conception and birth and during new creation i.e. between birth and death, affects the whole being. It is part of ‘the way you are wired up’, to use a phrase from Bill Hybels.
Since these attributes are so close to the core of who the leader is, then they naturally affect the whole being. The outworking of such is often labelled activism.

One of the ways I often describe myself is as a recovering-activist. Someone who is always on the go, mentally and physically. My wife generously describes this as an ‘enormous capacity for work’. But I have come to see this not as a blessing but as a curse, or more politely as the flipside of leadership.

There are many ways that this positive aspect of leadership, the perception and enthusiasm for direction and movement becomes a danger to the health and well-being of the leader and the congregation, church, organisation or company. At this point it is important not to mis-read what I am saying. I am not saying that we have not benefited from the leaders activity and capacity for work. What I am saying is that burnout amongst leaders is a serious matter, as is dis-empowered congregations!

Firstly the leader struggles to rest. I think that I began to learn what rest meant 3 years into full-time ministry when I was ‘sent’ to Malta to rest after losing my voice. Interestingly the voice returned the very first evening in Malta after a 6 week period of not being able to talk at all. In the days that followed I felt that God gave me permission to rest. Not of course that it had held withheld perviously. I would still say that I am learning to rest and release the need to follow-through on every thought.

Secondly, the congregation struggle to keep up. With a leader who is two steps ahead, doing everything and too much, the congregation become dis-empowered because they simply can’t keep up with the speed and plethora of ideas and action points. As a congregation they need someone to point the direction of travel, not someone who has their foot to the floor beckoning people to keep up.

Much of this, and other aspects of the flipside that I plan to write about, are about the leader living for themselves, even if they think they are serving the people. Controlling the flipside, living with the curse, is mostly about learning to live with oneself and serving the needs of the other.

church, emerging church, leadership, ministry

Blessings and curses are opposites in both intent and result. Blessings tend to come with good will and curses tend not to. Blessings bring something good, fruitful, lasting, joyful from a heart of love towards the intended. Curses don’t tend to be any of those things. Which is why the idea of a curse does not quite fit with this little study I am embarking on.The Curse of Leadership has been the title since its conception in my thinking some 2 years ago. A title that reflects my personal experience over the then 7 years in full time church leadership of one sort or another. But as soon as I come to begin writing it ‘curse’ sounds altogether to hard. And yet there is something there that I can’t quite let go of because at the worse of times it just feels like it - a curse.The ‘flipside’ sounds altogether more friendly and palatable, almost funky and trendy as if it might represent some new insight into leadership and management - although I am fairly sure that is unlikely to be the case. So a double title it will be for a while.This writing exercise is meant to be an exploration of personal experience in the hope of dredging the depths of it for all the wisdom it contains. Personal experience of leadership in a few guises but mainly in the context of local church and ministry. Distilling something about the gift of leadership over and against leadership positions and skills - a distinction that will be explored - and what in particular that gift brings to the life of its holder. Perhaps contesting the widely held assumption that many of the perceived strengths of such a gift could in fact be its weaknesses.For me this is also an exercise in regular writing. So we’ll see how that goes! Given the wise contrast between training and trying, lets go for an episode once a week - or there abouts!Some of the title splash came from a piece by Vicky Newman highlighted in the Indepndent this week as taking part in the Stuart project.

church, emerging church, leadership, ministry

Conrad Gempf on his blog, talks about self-expression and tradition giving examples of good tradition, one that pushes or entices you to an act of grace rather than falling victim of one’s own selfish deire to get even, take advantage or gain from chance in a game of skill. This idea of tradition bringing out the better side of us perhaps goes some way to understanding why people bow, kneel [genuflect] when entering, leaving or passing the alter in church.

This custom has been one that has puzzled me for a while, since arriving at Rippon College, Cuddesdon for my ordination training. Coming from low evangelical background, these body movements were a puzzle and in fact boarder on idolatry. My first thoughts were “Well they seem no more crazy than sticking your hands in the air during singing.” This obviously has more meaning you might say, but even casual observations show that some songs do it better than others and generally you have to wait until the chorus or the second verse before it is appropriate to ‘lift them high’.

My second thought concerns an observation made by at fellow staff member at my last job [Holy Trinity Hazlemere]. He, Alan, observed that we more often than not fall into worship. We move straight from notices to full blown intimacy without as much as a by-your-leave.

In reaction to these I have been developing a practice of pausing an lowering my head when entering a pew and when leaving it. Not because I am not worshipping in my whole life nor because I think there is any more ‘real’ presence at the altar or reserve sacrament than any other particular place. It is more to do with what is going on in my heart: I am here, in this building in this pew, intentionally to listen, pray and acknowledge God’s grace in my life. It is to mark the beginning and end of this intentional time of becoming aware of God’s presence.

Now I come to Conrad’s observations. This tradition, that I have picked up from other people playing the same game as I am, indeed encourages and entices me to both acknowledge the grace shown to me and respond in an appropriate thankful way acknowledging the Godhead behind it. And in a BTW, showing other people that I am aware of what I am doing in the pew.

emerging church, formation

Long time no blog - but essay is in and interviews for MPhil and RDP successfully negotiated.

For both my interviews (with Andrew Walker for place on MPhil/PhD at King’s, and Judith Maltby for Ministry Division permission and money for said MPhil) I was sure that I would be asked: how would you describe yourself now in terms of church-person-ship? [my changes]. So after a little pondering I came up with these descriptions of my journey.

Charismatic Baptist Evangelical describes where on the spectrum I was converted into. 1992-1994
Doctrinally Disillusioned Evangelical is how I felt when I realised you needed to go to bible college to discover who Jesus is and the resultant belief-melt-down that follows. 1994-1996
Post Post Evangelical is how I described myself at the public debate with Dave Tomlinson after seeing how scattered and in some places ‘obvisious’ his arguments were. 1997-1998
‘Edge of the World’ Evangelical as opposed to Open Evangelical. That place where you are at the edge of the ‘flat’ world, since flat is how the doctrine felt, and wanting to take a step to get off or out, and yet finding nothing to step on to or in to. 1999-2001
New Kind of Evangelical after reading book of similar title and seeing that it might just be degrees of perspective and there might yet be some life left in the old girl yet! 2001-2004
Cosmopolitan Evangelical since God’s call to Anglican Ordination; being neither Anglican or thinking about ordination up until that point. Cosmo because I know where I come from and don’t want to desert or abandon that past, despite trying to previously. But also wanting to be not just comfortable but actually at home in foreign places; to be able to encounter God, minister, lead, teach and live in a culture that is not my home. “To be ready to find God in the unexpected places.” To quote my selection application papers.

So there we are I am a cosmo evangelical ordinand still having culture shock episodes in a college with liberal catholic history and tendencies.

Picture btw is just dreaming!

emerging church, formation