Graham Stacey

A pdf of our Christmas letter and some ‘Best of 06 Photos’ are now up on our family site: www.thestaceys.tv

Enjoy!

general

These episodes of flipside leadership won’t be in any kind of order. Partly because if I waited until I thought there were in an order I was happy with they might never get written.

Given that, let’s start with activism!

It strikes me that one of the primary defining aspects of a gift of leadership is something about direction. Leadership makes sense in the context of a journey, whether that is physical, spiritual, emotional or, what is normally the case, a complex mix of these and others descriptors. Perhaps the best phrase might be ‘human journey’. The thing that the leader brings to this journey, the thing that they are best positioned to bring, is a vision of the future. The leader, if you like points to Point C of the journey. Point A being where you have come from and Point B being where you currently are. Since this is one of the moments when the leader is at their peak, a moment of looking forward, reaching ahead, urging movement and stirring active imagination, then they tend to embody these journey attributes of movement.

This embodiment of these attributes of journey is at an identity level [deliberately not using the words psychological or character]. The gift is planted deeply, probably at the core of personhood. Something that is not of course limited to the gift of leadership, a gift is part of the ‘knitting together of the person’ by God. This knitting together between conception and birth and during new creation i.e. between birth and death, affects the whole being. It is part of ‘the way you are wired up’, to use a phrase from Bill Hybels.
Since these attributes are so close to the core of who the leader is, then they naturally affect the whole being. The outworking of such is often labelled activism.

One of the ways I often describe myself is as a recovering-activist. Someone who is always on the go, mentally and physically. My wife generously describes this as an ‘enormous capacity for work’. But I have come to see this not as a blessing but as a curse, or more politely as the flipside of leadership.

There are many ways that this positive aspect of leadership, the perception and enthusiasm for direction and movement becomes a danger to the health and well-being of the leader and the congregation, church, organisation or company. At this point it is important not to mis-read what I am saying. I am not saying that we have not benefited from the leaders activity and capacity for work. What I am saying is that burnout amongst leaders is a serious matter, as is dis-empowered congregations!

Firstly the leader struggles to rest. I think that I began to learn what rest meant 3 years into full-time ministry when I was ‘sent’ to Malta to rest after losing my voice. Interestingly the voice returned the very first evening in Malta after a 6 week period of not being able to talk at all. In the days that followed I felt that God gave me permission to rest. Not of course that it had held withheld perviously. I would still say that I am learning to rest and release the need to follow-through on every thought.

Secondly, the congregation struggle to keep up. With a leader who is two steps ahead, doing everything and too much, the congregation become dis-empowered because they simply can’t keep up with the speed and plethora of ideas and action points. As a congregation they need someone to point the direction of travel, not someone who has their foot to the floor beckoning people to keep up.

Much of this, and other aspects of the flipside that I plan to write about, are about the leader living for themselves, even if they think they are serving the people. Controlling the flipside, living with the curse, is mostly about learning to live with oneself and serving the needs of the other.

church, emerging church, leadership, ministry

This week at Ripon College Cuddesdon [check out new website] has been our Themed Study Week. For me that meant a week of sacraments.One of the funniest, frustrating and profound moments was towards the end of an hour or so worming our way through a history of ‘transubtitution’. This, as you may know, is the doctrine of real ‘fleshly’ presence: where the host, the bread, becomes the real flesh and the wine becomes the real blood of Christ.At the crux of this, it came to the point when those amongst the group would need to explain why they indulge in ‘biscuit worship’: why it is they elevate the host, bow in it’s presence at the point of consecration, reserve some sacrament and bow in it’s presence? It is at this point that the magic word came out: “mystery”.And then it struck me, that when the Anglo-Catholics do stuff that they find hard to explain, let alone hard to understand, then they bring out the word “mystery”. And when the charismatic evagelicals are rolling on the floor barking like dogs, and they find it hard to understand and explain, then they too bring out the word “mystery”. And it further struck me that there is little difference between these occurrences.

formation, ministry

Thank goodness, at least there is no pressure here then!!

general

A friend of my used to wind me up by calling me ‘smiler’. This was, and is, not because I have a glorious smile on my face all the time. In fact quite the opposite, my face struggles to indicate how I feel inside. Nevertheless, I have been, and still are, on a journey of changing that.

Given that, I am struggling this evening with the difficulty we have with smiling in Church. In particular, around specific seasons of joy, at least on paper anyway. I have been to a few advent / carol services over the years and only one, perhaps two, remain in my mind as joyful occasions. The rest have been at best sombre and at worst dire and misserable! Partly due to the choice of hymns/songs/carols, but mainly due the the lack of smiles.

It seems that the training given to leaders, choirs and those reading is similar to that given to the Queens Guard!! Who are not meant to interact with the teasing public, their are not meant to smile! The contrast was particularly noticeable this evening because the children’s choir where also taking part and children can’t help but smile when there is a sea of parents and grandparents smiling right back at them from the pews.

My journey of smiling has reached the point where I actually look forward to advent, and indeed Christmas festivities. The ‘bah-humbug’ approach is becoming a thing of the past. A journey helped enormously by my joy-filled wife and my joy-filled 3 children. Having got this far on my smile journey I am determined not to let dull and dire services put me off!

Apologies to anyone reading this who thinks or knows that they were involved in one of the advent / carol services I am referring to. But I have to say: Beautiful singing, and indeed words [I did encounter God this evening], but smile, this is good news we have.

church

Blessings and curses are opposites in both intent and result. Blessings tend to come with good will and curses tend not to. Blessings bring something good, fruitful, lasting, joyful from a heart of love towards the intended. Curses don’t tend to be any of those things. Which is why the idea of a curse does not quite fit with this little study I am embarking on.The Curse of Leadership has been the title since its conception in my thinking some 2 years ago. A title that reflects my personal experience over the then 7 years in full time church leadership of one sort or another. But as soon as I come to begin writing it ‘curse’ sounds altogether to hard. And yet there is something there that I can’t quite let go of because at the worse of times it just feels like it - a curse.The ‘flipside’ sounds altogether more friendly and palatable, almost funky and trendy as if it might represent some new insight into leadership and management - although I am fairly sure that is unlikely to be the case. So a double title it will be for a while.This writing exercise is meant to be an exploration of personal experience in the hope of dredging the depths of it for all the wisdom it contains. Personal experience of leadership in a few guises but mainly in the context of local church and ministry. Distilling something about the gift of leadership over and against leadership positions and skills - a distinction that will be explored - and what in particular that gift brings to the life of its holder. Perhaps contesting the widely held assumption that many of the perceived strengths of such a gift could in fact be its weaknesses.For me this is also an exercise in regular writing. So we’ll see how that goes! Given the wise contrast between training and trying, lets go for an episode once a week - or there abouts!Some of the title splash came from a piece by Vicky Newman highlighted in the Indepndent this week as taking part in the Stuart project.

church, emerging church, leadership, ministry