Entering the Emotional Cauldron
The Funeral and Thanksgiving service of Diana Welch happened this morning. I attended and observed. During this service a very clear distinction between the ministry I have been part of and the ministry of a vicar struck me again.
The vicar gets thrown into the emotional cauldron of the parish in a way that I have not experienced and in part have been protected from by the vicar [and my computer screen if I am being too honest]. Whether the vicar has any emotional ties or investment in a particular family, person or situation is completely besides the point. Since they are invited, largely, into the very centre of the stirring cauldron by the people at its centre and those stirring it.
This morning was enormously sad: giving thanks for the life of Diana, who leaves a husband, three children now married and six grandchildren, countless friends and fans. To meet with the family, lead the funeral and a thanksgiving service without joining in and feeling the emotional temperature would be dishonour the family and, I think, God. I felt it and I was a complete outsider sitting at the back being distracted by all sorts of irrelevant thoughts and occurrences.
How does this fit into the current cornerstone of my priestly understanding of “reflecting the Priesthood of Christ and serving the priesthood of all believers? This Michael Ramsey quote goes on to say “to be one of the means of grace whereby God enables the church to be church.” So what do we mean by church? Is it a place that celebrates and laments, sings and weeps, caught up in the complex weave of human emotions, which in themselves must be caught up in the glorious image of God in which we are made. If it is, then being thrown, or politely invited, into the emotional cauldron of the parish life is exactly where the vicar should be.