Graham Stacey

Once I had made a move towards ordained ministry I began to take more notice of what the clergy on the staff were doing: funerals, weddings and services. I remember a conversation with the curate about funerals and what is involved once the church received a call from the funeral directors or family. What struck me is not how many times you might need to visit the family, preparing the service including perhaps a eulogy, communicating with the director and perhaps the crematorium and what bereavement follow-up might be appropriate. Rather it was that such a phone call might happen at anytime of the week, day or night.
Getting such a phone call on Monday morning when the diary already has preparing for the APCM on Tuesday evening, being involved in civic ceremonies on Wednesday, a day in the school interviewing for a new head on Thursday, preparing for Sunday services on Friday morning and visiting your parents-in-law in the afternoon, can only mean trouble at home when the children begin to wonder where their Dad is. Getting it on Friday afternoon when you are just settling down to prepare the sermon can only mean something gives that cannot be given!!
The easy conclusion is to start the week with your diary half empty! Is this possible?
What is also apparent is that once you get from behind the computer screen and live as a part of the community in which you are the priest, time becomes a very disposable commodity. Going to the Post Office to buy some stamps can turn into 3 conversations and an hour, for a 10 min walk and job.
Being a person who usually starts their week with their diary full and avoids situations that are likely to take more time than I can spare I have a load of movement to make. But…

But what?
Is the answer to diary in community time, in which you either do the things that come up like funeral visits and visiting the sick? When nothing comes up then there is time to ‘bum around the parish’ and meet some people doing ordinary things like shopping.

Is the answer to never take on the things that eat up you time, like various committees and groups that inevitably result in more jobs on the to-do-list?

Perhaps then I need a strategy that keeps the diary under control and gets me out into the community. Or a passion that means I can keep my strengths and weakness in the right balance? The strength of getting things done and the weakness of being too goal driven?

This diary discipline, which reflects your calling and ministry, your values and passions, is a major area to submit to the sabbatical principle, the chance to break old habits that are getting you no-where and wearing you down. I have slipped into a place where my diary is in control of me and I must do what ever it takes to make sure that when [and if] I start ministry again, I gain a firm grip on my diary. Keeping a balance of my strengths and weaknesses but allowing my passions to express themselves in a way that is life-giving to myself, my family and the parish.

formation, placement

The Funeral and Thanksgiving service of Diana Welch happened this morning. I attended and observed. During this service a very clear distinction between the ministry I have been part of and the ministry of a vicar struck me again.

The vicar gets thrown into the emotional cauldron of the parish in a way that I have not experienced and in part have been protected from by the vicar [and my computer screen if I am being too honest]. Whether the vicar has any emotional ties or investment in a particular family, person or situation is completely besides the point. Since they are invited, largely, into the very centre of the stirring cauldron by the people at its centre and those stirring it.

This morning was enormously sad: giving thanks for the life of Diana, who leaves a husband, three children now married and six grandchildren, countless friends and fans. To meet with the family, lead the funeral and a thanksgiving service without joining in and feeling the emotional temperature would be dishonour the family and, I think, God. I felt it and I was a complete outsider sitting at the back being distracted by all sorts of irrelevant thoughts and occurrences.

How does this fit into the current cornerstone of my priestly understanding of “reflecting the Priesthood of Christ and serving the priesthood of all believers”? This Michael Ramsey quote goes on to say “to be one of the means of grace whereby God enables the church to be church.” So what do we mean by church? Is it a place that celebrates and laments, sings and weeps, caught up in the complex weave of human emotions, which in themselves must be caught up in the glorious image of God in which we are made. If it is, then being thrown, or politely invited, into the emotional cauldron of the parish life is exactly where the vicar should be.

formation, placement

I was with David, the vicar, this morning talking through the diary for the next two weeks considering the fixed points and what I might be able to attend and get involved in. As an aside David tells me a little about the administrator. Quite apart from who she is, her name is Kim, the amazing job she does, and David’s appreciation of her, the point that grabbed my attention was that the post of administrator had become a priority appointment for the PCC.
In my own experience it is very easy to fill the diary with things that need to be done and leave the things that should be done for another day. Anecdotally, there are plenty of parishes where the priest has become lost behind a sea of paperwork, co-ordination needs and the computer screen. Another aside perhaps tells it all. In the interview process for David’s appointment here, he tells of a moment when an older chap from the town came up to him and without so much as an introduction says something of the likes of this; “What we need here is a Vicar who comes out from behind his computer screen.” When later asked about his computer skills David, without distorting the truth, declared himself to be a bit of a dinosaur in this area!

Hiding behind the computer screen is something I have been guilty of more often than I would care to confess. Some words of advice from the Senior Pastor of a previous church have often come to mind. “Given the choice of sitting in the study and getting it done yourself and leaving it to go out visiting, you should go out visiting every time. It is in visiting that you are more likely to find the help you might need. It is in staying at home that you withhold the help they might need.”

Part of my hope about the blessings that two years training bring, is the chance to break old habits. Hiding behind the computer screen is one of those habits. But here comes the practical reality, finding administrative help becomes a priority. Kim says that her main role is to do the things that need to be done but that do not need a vicar to do them, thus enabling the vicar to be the vicar. With larger parishes and benefices, more forms and paperwork and ever increasing communication needs, this need will only get bigger and therefore perhaps more important.

formation, placement

Well, today begins my placement in Chipping Campden. Two weeks now and two further weeks in September will satisfy the Ministry Division training requirements. Partly chosen because this is the town where my parent-in-laws live, thus providing the necessary family accommodation. Partly chosen because of the incumbent, David Cook, and the wide spectrum of regular ministry that goes on here.
Many questions and concerns will no doubt receive a dose of wisdom along the way, but the main question, one that may be the make or break of me is this; “What difference does being ordained make?”

This morning, after arriving, was the 9:30 at St.Eadburghas with dedication and 11:00 at St. James with baptism, all fairly standard stuff. In the journey between services came the thinking point for today: being public property.

We have some experience of this of course: when moving into a new job and thus area, community, and house. We have done this three times now and each time it is strange when everyone knows your name and you hardly know anyone; when people know when you have redecorated the lounge and when you go to the doctors. More positively, my experience of doing assemblies in the local infant/junior school means that I often heard my name called as I walked around the estate and supermarkets: “that’s Graham over there”, says the little kid to his parent. Of course this often resulted in little chats in the shop aisle with non-church families.

But it strikes me that being the vicar, the one with the ‘collar’, can only add to the ‘public property’ effect. Michael Ramsey says that being a Priest is about “reflecting the priesthood of Christ and serving the priesthood of all believers.” [The Christian Priest Today, p-111] How does being public property resonate with this understanding. You could say that Jesus is public property and so being public is just part of that reflection. Public property sounds quite functional and degrading though. Does being a vicar mean submitting to the control and inspection of the parish? Or is is it reflecting both the inclusive and welcoming nature of Jesus?

Is being public property part of serving the priesthood of believers because in serving there is a huge element of being available? Servants, in days of old, lived in the house of service and were totally available day and night to their Gents and Ladies. I recently heard a ‘house-for-duty’ incumbent say it like this; “If someone wants to talk with me as the vicar then these are my hours, if someone needs a priest, then I am available day and night.” Sounds like public property to me!

formation, placement

On our week long holiday in Devon [more to follow] Anna [daughter,7] and I had 45 mins together as we walked along the top of the gorge at Lydford Gorge.
As we walked along the top we occassionaly caught glimpses of the river below and became more excited about seeing the waterfall that was the goal of our walk and the rendezvous with the rest of the family.
On one stop we noticed that all we could hear were God noises: noises from things God had made and not humans. The river, the wind, the rustling trees, our breathing… it was a lovely moment and one that reminded me that I don’t get as many of these as I would like.

encounters, family